Dedicated to all of my friends, boys and girls who sick of Beauty Standards
This gonna be the tough one, guys. Let's get into it!
Pertama-tama mari kita mulai dari diri sendiri, dari gue pribadi. Berat badan gue 2021 ini tembus 57kg, dengan normalnya harusnya 52kg karena tinggi gue cuma 150cm. Lo boleh bilang tinggi badan gue seukuran penggaris arsitek, but you just can't change what God has give you, right?
Setiap kali gue kenalan sama orang yang kemudian ketemu gue secara personal, pasti reaksinya selalu "Gue kira lo tinggi tau" ya i know, i know. Bahkan, saking kecilnya gue, gue suka dapet julukan tersendiri karena gue paling mini di antara mereka semua. Well, what a wonderful world we live in, right?
Hal yang paling gue benci dari sini adalah gue selalu gak pernah foto full body, karena gue sangat gak pede dengan the shape of my body, i don't know it's just doesn't look right. Gue yakin teman-teman ataupun followers instagram gue pasti jarang kan liat gue foto berdiri, selalu selfie, selalu.
Saat ini, gue ikut semacam ajang pencari talent untuk iklan, dan saat itu ada momen untuk disuruh foto full body, depan, samping kanan, samping kiri. And i sent it. And you know what? What i recieve is "Sorry, but you need to lose weight first". Gue sih gak kaget, cuma menyadari aja "Oh, sebegitu susahnya ya untuk bisa fit in TV, harus se-perfect itu ya"
Tinggi, semampai, hourglass figure, pretty?, enak dilihat, intinya APPEARANCE FIRST.
Dan ini gak terjadi di luar lingkungan juga kok, terkadang Eyang Putri gue juga suka bilang "Wok, awakmu iku cilikno, gak apik lek gendut ngono" yang artinya gue disuruh kecilin badan gue, dan gak bagus kalo gendut. Gue bersyukur Mama gue gak pernah sama sekali komentarin how the way i look, mungkin karena Mama gue pernah ada di fase gue yaitu dituntut oleh circle-nya untuk terlihat "enak dilihat".
Okay, that's enough for me, let's focus on the topic!
Kenapa sih kita pengen cantik? Kenapa sih kita pengen kurus? Kenapa sih kita pengen nggak punya muka jerawatan? Kenapa sih kita pengen punya badan berotot? Kenapa, kenapa dan kenapa?
Manusia diciptakan dengan rasa ingin tahu yang besar, desire to try this and that, wanted more than what you already have. And what else, could you tell me more?
Mungkin hal-hal ini terjadi karena stigma-stigma masyarakat yang selalu menghantui dan secara tidak sadar menuntut kita. Dan yang kita tonton di setiap hari, contohnya Ads, TV Programme, Social Media. Wait, talking about Social Media, have you seen TikTok? Do you see lot of attractive people or do you see "not so attractive" people? I bet YOU SEEN A LOT OF ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE. Not only on TikTok but also on Instagram.
Kenapa sih disebut "attractive" cause they fulfilled your expectations or it define "pretty" in your head?
Emang kalo nggak attractive gak menarik ya? Orang yang punya good sense of humor, attractive gak sih?
Okay, okay that's too much pressure on that, let's move on
Pernah gak sih kalian merasa terkompetisi sama orang yang bahkan kalian aja gak pernah met in person? Maybe someone you know from Social Media? Well, i have.
Gue sangat suka dengan penampilan dari C*ndy Pr*scilla, P*ang K*nnarun, R*ca A*driani,
and it's not they fault to look good, to have that fine figure, cause we all born with different destiny, tentu dari fisik dan juga perjalanan hidup kita masing-masing. And also different genetics.
Gue inget banget gue pernah punya mindset "Kalau dia bisa cantik seperti itu, gue juga bisa kok dengan gaya gue sendiri". Secara gak langsung, gue mengkompetisikan diri gue sendiri dengan cewek-cewek asing di luar sana yang bahkan gue gak kenal. And it's not good to live with that kind of feeling.
Kenapa ya, kalo ngeliatin cewe attractive, bawaanya pengen keliatan kaya dia juga, nanya rahasia cantiknya apa?
Tapi kalo liat Tara Basro gain weight, Ariel Tatum punya insecurity, Rendha Rais pede, kok senang ya bawaannya, kok kayanya lebih relate-an ini dibanding yang berbadan kurus, pure “cantik” dari sananya.
Hayo siapa yang pernah ngerasa gitu, dan hayo siapa yang baru sadar...
Emang “cantik” menurut kamu tuh seperti apa sih?
Mungkin kita bukan gak bersyukur, tetapi kita terlalu banyak nontonin hal-hal yang secara gak langsung it's not meant for us, that's what i called BEAUTY STANDARDS.
Tau gak sih, zaman dulu kiblat cantik adalah seorang Marilyn Monroe, kalian bisa lihat secara fisik Marilyn Monroe seperti apa, not to tall, chubby thigh, bloated tummy. Entah kenapa makin kesini semua sudah bergeser. Inget Victoria's Secret? Tau gak kenapa Victoria's Secret sudah gak pernah ada acara Fashion Shownya lagi? Karena, pasar sudah gak mau nontonin hal-hal yang sudah gak relevan lagi sama realita masyarakat kebanyakan. (SHOUTOUT TO FENTY BEAUTY!)
Not all girls look like that, how about all mothers that have big boobs, pear shape body karena melahirkan banyak anak? And you wanted them to look like a Victoria's Secret Model? Oh no, you can't be joking.
Inget gak, N*a R*hmadhani pernah bilang "Investasikan uangmu ke badan, bukan ke baju". Girl, you think she haven’t done a liposuction (sedot lemak)? And you think her "cantik" is naturally gitu aja? No! *sniffing some money talks*
Have you ever watch Legally Blonde, scene di mana Brooke Tayler seorang trainer workout, dia bilang "It's not like a normal woman can't get this ass" you know what she does? The Liposuction, it's getting interesting right? (Scene di mana Elle ask her to confess her Alibi).
Oke intinya adalah badan yang "langsing" gak mungkin gak punya selulit, lemak, jerawat, itu pasti ada, if you think "Ih tapi dia beneran emang gak punya" Well, blessed 'em genes. Tapi emang kenapa sih kalau kamu nggak ditakdirkan kaya dia? Why you make it like it is such a big deal for you? Why won't you let your body grow how they wants?
Ada juga istilah "Beauty is Pain" Oh yeah, but what kind of pain?
You're telling me to get that body langsing, perfect tits, jiggly bump, thin face, fuller lips, waxed coochie, wide waist, shaved calf, light-tone skin, etc you think your money isn't talking?
What if they don't have money like you, but they have a natural "Beauty"
How about Beauty is Pain because you have a naturally big boobs that makes you so shy, so you have to wear baggy clothes?
How about a naturally fuller lips that makes you called "Pasti sering ciuman"?
How about a naturally big bump cause you gave birth to a child?
What kind of "Pain" do you mean? and What kind of "Beauty" do you mean?
BEAUTY STANDARDS ARE SUCKS!
Here's some information for you, that we all shaped differently :
Dan untuk cowok-cowok yang suka do workouts, i know you've been drinking those protein milk to gain some muscle mass, and it's okay for you who do not drink that, it's fine.
How about not doing any workout and don't do all the stuff like a usual man do? THAT IS OKAY!
Oh iya, ada satu hal lagi you might wanna watch this, https://youtu.be/-sSz70zxmC4
Dan lihat salah satu komentar ini :
Coba, kalau kalian nonton, kalian fokus ke topiknya atau ke bentuk wajah setiap orang yang ada di video itu? Entah kenapa, gue langsung teralihkan fokusnya pada bentuk kepala manusia yang berbeda-beda di situ.
Mungkin, what i can say is, you're doing any sports or workouts is to be fit, untuk sehat dan gaya hidup yang lebih baik.
If you're doing it because you want to get revenge to somebody out there (to be prettier) trust me, it's not worth it, appearance can change tapi juga harus dibarengi dengan attitude.
Sedih gak sih dibilang "Percuma cakep, kalau..." Malah yang ada nambah-nambahin beban kamu kan? So, you're doing it for yourself ya, guys!
Same as skincare, if you're having trouble with acne and beruntusan, wrinkle, panda's eyes, big pores, nggak perlu insecure! Kita semua pasti punya our own face problems, pasti. Jangan terlalu matokin diri kamu terhadap model-model attractive di luar sana yang terlihat kayanya dia fine-fine aja (ada loh aplikasi Photoshop, you never know).
I don't have any more advice for you how to reduce insecurity, tetapi mungkin kita bisa mengurangi melihat hal-hal yang sekiranya doesn't meant for us, stop scroll TikTok lama-lama, stop looking at Instagram Models, define your own pretty, it's never how you looks, it's about what can you do to help others to get up.
Mungkin dengan kamu bahagia dan pede atas diri kamu sendiri for being who you are, the sparks will shown and it will shine on everybody, and that’s what makes you attractive.
Kebayang gak sih kalau kita di bentuk Tuhan dengan wujud serta bentuk yang sama, gak ada yang kurus, gak ada yang gendut, semuanya ideal? Kamu akan anggap Dunia itu adil?
Well what i can say is, here we are all, shaped differently.
Last but not least,
Here's a massage from me to you, guys :
For boys,
It's okay for you to not go to the gym,
To not doing workouts,
To not do any sports,
It doesn't shape who you are, doesn't define you're a MAN or not
You're a man because you already are, what are you capable of and what passionate you the most
You don't need to doing it for chasing some chicks
And i believe woman nowadays are smart enough to love you not based on how you looks, but based on how you treat them.
And
For girls,
It's okay for you to gain weight
Or tiger-stripes that comes off on your thigh and bum
It's okay if you have bloated tummy down there
It's okay if you're not having light-toned skin
It’s okay if you aren‘t 5‘5ft. tall
You don't need to be pretty to impress some boys
You're doing you're own makeup at home even when no one is looking at you,
Look at you, you're doing it for yourself
And i believe man nowadays are smart enough to love you based on your personality, cause it's such a waste to look good, but you have a zero attitude.
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