Moon

I like to be The Sun, but i prefer to be The Moon

Hi! I'm back after all this time, hahaha padahal nggak lama-lama banget sebenernya..

Well, langsung aja straight to the point!

Kalian pernah gak sih di posisi you think that you're ready to be in love but at the same time it made you think "am i in love? or am i just in love with the idea of "fall in love?""

Gue enjoy enjoy aja sama orang-orang yang ada disekeliling gue, tapi di waktu yang sama gue takut banget sama perasaan ini menuju ke arah "love". Entah dari guenya atau dari lawan gue. Gue sedang di posisi i like me better without love, cause i'm so afraid with the after effect. Gue takut banget gue nyakitin orang lain, dan gue gak mau ada di fase galau, oh man galau bener-bener tear me apart, bisa bikin gue gila.

Gue sampe punya quotes ke temen-temen setiap gue curhat :

"Kalau suatu saat dia pergi dan gue nangis, berarti gue pernah ada hati sama dia. Tapi kalau dia pergi dan gue gak nangis, ya berarti gue biasa aja"

Well that's obvious, Navyla -_-

Gue kadang bisa baca juga intensi seseorang mau ke arah mana dan terkadang gue suka menahan diri gue sendiri untuk "gak terlalu jauh", karena gue sangat takut akan kegagalan? Kegagalan yang dimaksud bukan karena "gak jadian" doang ya, gue gak mau banget jadi mendadak stranger yang tadinya asik banget dan some kind of musuhan.

Atau mungkin ini efek dari kelamaan gak punya pacar kali ya? Hahaha. Atau mungkin karena too many failures? Dan gue rasa Modern Love kinda confusing, there's so many "do this, don't do that, that's a trap!, that's their red flags" blablabla and shit.

I mean if you wanna get 'em, it should be straight forward what do you want, no testing.

Ada satu lirik Bruno Mars bagus banget :

Oh, I still dream of a simple life

Boy meets girl, makes her his wife

But love don't exist

When you live like this

That much I know, yes I know

Gue sampai sejauh ini bersyukur banget belom pernah di fase hampa bin kosong bin kesepian, and i'm not pushing myself back to get to know somebody else. Mungkin karena sebenernya gue gak mikirin banget sih, i had a lot of things to do than this shit. Dipikir-pikir ini waktu yang tepat untuk memainkan lagu Kunto Aji - Sudah Terlalu Lama Sendiri :)

Well, that's life after all, confusing, full of surprises, we just have to be ready and well prepared when it comes, and also be smart & cautious to solve another puzzle!

Love should be beautiful, not confusing.

But i'm lost.

*Well i hope you get my point, cause i'm kinda confused in expressing this feeling, it's weird.